


Uncle Doug, Why Don't You Have a Husband?

by The_Busy_Beee



Category: DOUBLE DECKER! ダグ&キリル | Double Decker! Doug & Kirill (Anime)
Genre: Domestic Fluff, Family Feels, Fluff and Humor, Getting Together, M/M, Weddings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-27
Updated: 2019-04-27
Packaged: 2020-02-07 13:02:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,710
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18621169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Busy_Beee/pseuds/The_Busy_Beee
Summary: An AU where Pat is Derick's daughter, Doug is the best uncle in the world, and Valery and Derick are getting married.But it's mostly about Doug and Kirill finding each other.





	Uncle Doug, Why Don't You Have a Husband?

**Author's Note:**

> I saw a funny tweet about a man explaining to his nephew that he didn't have a wife because he was gay, and I wanted to so badly to write a fic about it. I've been dying to do a story with Pat as well, so this was perfect. 💕
> 
> This one is in no way connected to any of my other works and is intended as a stand-alone.
> 
> More updates for the series' already in progress are on their way, but this story itself is a big milestone for me! This marks my 20th Double Decker fiction!
> 
> I want to say thank you to everyone who's continuously supported my DD works and waited patiently for new updates. I hope you all continue to enjoy my work, because I know I love writing them.   
> Enjoy some fluff! 💕

“Uncle Doug, why don't you have a wife?”

 

Ah, Patricia; his favorite (and only) niece. Not by blood, of course, but he's watched her grow from a fussy, colicy infant into this beautiful, curious five year old. When Derick decided to adopt his sister's daughter after she passed away during childbirth, Doug was more than a little concerned. Derick was a bachelor who owned a bar and lived in a tiny one bedroom apartment. 

 

None of that was ideal for a baby.

 

But Derick had been adamant about Patricia not going into the foster care system. He took Patricia in without a second thought, and never looked back, even when things got tough. Doug remembers helping Derick watch her countless nights when she wouldn't sleep and simply cried all night because Derick couldn't find anyone to help out with the bar. If he were to close it, he'd have had no income, and that wouldn't bode well with a newborn.

 

Three months into Patricia's life, when Doug was wondering if he should just move in with Derick to save himself gas money, Valery found them. He was looking for a part time job but found much, much more. It was honestly awe inspiring how seamlessly Valery fit into Derick and Patricia's life; and that's just from an outsider's point of view. Derick had fallen for Valery almost immediately, and Valery wasn't hard to convince. Derick can be suave sometimes, Doug guesses. 

 

Patricia started walking a week before her first birthday; she was the flower girl at Max and Yuri's wedding a month later. Derick had been jealous- he wanted her to be his and Valery's flower girl first. Derick had been making mental wedding plans practically since Valery came into their lives; it was just as embarrassing as it was endearing.

 

Now, just over five years after meeting, Valery and Derick will finally be getting married. Doug doesn't understand why they couldn't do it sooner, but he supposes weddings do take time to save up for. He wouldn't know. But with all the wedding planning and preparations being made, Patricia has had a ton of questions. Just yesterday, Valery had to explain that his wedding garter was  _ not _ a fancy hair bow. Today is apparently Doug's turn.

 

“Uncle Doug?” Patricia prompts, cheeks puffing as she shakes his arm. “Are you listening??”

 

“I am.” Doug replies poking her chipmunk like cheeks. “I was just thinking of how cute you were when you were quieter.”

 

“Daddy says I've never been quiet in my whole entire life.” She responds immediately, batting Doug's hand away. Doug laughs and settles further into the couch cushions.

 

“He's right.”

 

“So why don't you have a wife??”

 

She's nothing if not persistent.

 

“Because I'm gay.” Doug drawls. Patricia frowns.

 

“What does that mean?”

 

“It means I'm a boy that likes boys.”

 

“Like Daddy and Val?”

 

“Exactly like that.” Doug nods, pleased she understands. Patricia thinks about this for a moment.

 

“Uncle Doug, why don't you have a husband?”

 

And now, Doug has no answer to that. He's nearing thirty two, he has a decently paying job as a police detective and a large open floor plan apartment, perfect for hosting people. But he honestly hasn't been on a date since just before Patricia was born. 

 

And that… that's a little scary.

 

“Patricia, don't interrogate Uncle Doug. You have a plate of vegetables on the table you haven't even touched.” Valery scolds, carefully putting in an elegant looking blue earring as he walks into the living room. Patricia groans loudly but grumpily stomps her way back into the kitchen. Valery rolls his eyes fondly as he pats Doug's head.

 

“Thank you for watching her, Doug. Derick and I will be back in just a few hours; she's almost done with dinner, then bath and tv until nine-” Doug laughs, rising to his feet to follow Valery as he rambles at top speed, trying to find all of his papers and notebooks. “I wish we could have done the final plans and fittings earlier in the day, but six was the only timeslot left-”

 

“Val, it's fine. I never mind watching Pat. Especially now that she doesn't leak out of every orifice.” Valery laughs, some of the tension seeping out of his shoulder as he tucks his phone into the pocket of his white jeans and exhales heavily.

 

“I can't believe the wedding is in two days.” Valery shakes head, eyes wide. “It feels like Derick just proposed yesterday.” Doug smiles fondly. It's been entertaining to watch their relationship progress, to say the least.

 

“I'm ready!” Derick is loud as he thunks down the stairs, hissing as he smacks his hand into the railing while trying to tug his jacket on. Valery rolls his eyes, moment of reflection ruined, and sighs.

 

“Finally.” He mumbles under his breath. Doug can't help but laugh.

 

“Alright, Patricia! Come tell Daddy bye!” Valery calls into the kitchen. Derick has barely enough time to kneel and open his arms before a blue and orange blur is crashing into his chest. Derick laughs and squeezes the girl tightly, covering her in loud, over enthusiastic kisses, much to the girl's delight.

 

“Val and I will be back soon. Listen to Uncle Doug, okay?” Patricia nods, face the picture of innocence, and Doug purses his lips,  _ completely _ skeptical. Valery gives Patricia a similar squeeze before standing up and gathering all his materials again. Doug follows them to the door, prepared to lock up behind them, but Valery suddenly stops on the front porch.

 

“Oh! I completely forgot! Kirill is coming in tonight!” Derick has never met Valery's brother, but he's heard tons about the younger man. 

 

He's six years younger than Valery, putting him at twenty-four years old, and will be graduating college soon, hoping to pursue a career in law enforcement. From the multitude of photos of the two of them, Doug knows they look very alike, and from Derick's non-stop chatter when they were first dating, Doug also knows the siblings are very close. With Kirill's hectic college/work schedule, he doesn't get much time to make the drive out to visit Valery very often, often resulting in Valery making the drive up to stay the weekend with his younger brother; sometimes with Patricia, sometimes without.

 

“Doug, if he shows up while we're gone, could you please show him to the guest room? He'll probably need help with his bags- I don't think he's been here since we moved in… maybe I should-”

 

“Valery, he'll be fine.” Derick assures, leading the worried Valery down the stairs. “Doug's got it all under control!” The larger man shoots Doug a wink and thumbs up, and Doug is confused..?

 

“Uncle Doooooug!” Patricia calls from the living room, and he decides to let it go for now. He's sure he'll figure out what Derick means at some point. 

 

\---

 

It's nearing 8 and Patricia is almost asleep on the couch. She's fading fast but valiantly trying to avoid the clutches of sleep as they watch The Princess Without a Prince; it's become a fast favorite for the young girl. Even Doug is having trouble keeping his eyes open this evening.

 

A sudden horn honking has Patricia bolting up and sprinting for the front door.

 

“Uncle Kirill!!” She shouts. Doug jumps up and rushes after her.

 

“Don't just open the door, Pat!”

 

The girl is waiting beside the front door, bouncing from foot to foot eagerly as she waits for Doug to come open the door. 

 

“Hurry hurry hurry-” she chants. Doug huffs a laugh as he opens the door and Patricia would have barreled out the door if Doug hadn't grabbed the collar of her orange pajamas. The sun hasn't completely set yet, so the orange and pink sky is giving everything a warm glow. If anyone asks, the warmth that Doug feels when he sees the younger man stepping out of his car is definitely from the evening glow.

 

The man looks so  _ young. _ His smile is bright, blue eyes even brighter. Doug thought Kirill and Valery looked very similar, but at this moment, Kirill looks like sin wrapped in baggy cargo pants and an oversized hoodie; nothing like the soft, maternal vibe that Valery gives off. 

 

“Uncle Kirill!” Patricia shouts, practically vibrating with excitement. Kirill laughs and jogs up to the porch, sweeping the girl into his arms when she breaks free from Doug's hold and dives off the top step.

 

“You grew so much!! I think you're a whole foot taller!” Kirill cries, spinning around with the girl in his arms. She laughs, bright and carefree, still clinging to his red hoodie even after Kirill puts her down on the small wooden porch.

 

“You saw me last week!” She laughs. Kirill's eyes widen.

 

“No way! You grew a whole foot in a week?!” Patricia laughs again, and Kirill ruffles her hair before crouching down in front of her, smile turning mischievous. “I have something special for you.”

 

He pulls a full size chocolate bar out of the pocket of his hoodie, and Doug snaps out of whatever trance he was pulled into by Kirill's presence.

 

“Oi oi- you already brushed your teeth.” Doug says. Patricia groans. Kirill looks up, as though just noticing Doug for the first time and grins.

 

“She can brush them again. Isn't that right, Pat?” the girl nods eagerly, blue hair bobbing around her chin with every nod. Doug frowns; he can't say no to those wide, violet eyes. Especially when she moves closer, small hands grabbing onto Doug's maroon shirt tail. 

 

“Please Uncle Doug..?” 

 

Doug is wrapped around her little finger.

 

He sighs heavily, one hand dragging down his face slowly.

 

“Alright.” He concedes. “ _ One _ chocolate bar; I don't care how many you're hiding in that jacket Uncle Cavity.” Kirill grins and whips another one out as he stands up, holding it out to the older man.

 

“I've got sweets for  _ days, _ Uncle Fuddy-Duddy.”

 

\---

 

Doug thinks Kirill must be the devil, sent to make him regret all his life choices. Obviously. Why else would this be happening?

 

“You're gonna fall into the lava- AHHH!” Patricia is screeching as she jumps from couch to table and table to chair. Kirill laughs and jumps onto the couch beside Doug. The older man wobbles, grabbing the wall behind him for support. 

 

“Watch out Uncle Doug!” Kirill shouts, just as energetic as Patricia. Doug has never played so hard in his life- Kirill is a bad influence. Kirill carefully balances on the arm of the couch before stepping carefully into the arm chair.

 

“Uncle Doug, you can't just stand there.” Patricia pouts. “You'll drown in the lava!”

 

“I thought the floor was lava? If I'm on the couch-” Doug is cut off by Kirill's bubbly laugh.

 

“You'll sink though!”

 

“Yeah!” Patricia cries. 

 

“Oh.” Doug exhales heavily.

 

“Better get a move on, Uncle Doug.” Kirill winks. Doug is preparing to step onto the arm of the couch, to try and step into the chair Patricia is currently judging him from when the front door clicks open. The three exchange panicked looks before quickly dropping into sitting positions. Kirill pushes play on the remote control sitting on the side table and quickly throws one leg over the arm of the chair, trying to look natural, just before Valery pops his head in the doorway.

 

“We're back!” He announces. “I hope you were good for Uncle Doug and Kirill!” Patricia jumps up from her spot, smile wide.

 

“Val!”

 

“She was great, Val! Like always~!” Kirill assures.

 

Patricia runs across the room to latch onto Valery's legs and Doug catches Kirill's eye. The younger man is wearing a mischievous little grin and Doug can't help but smile into his own hand.

 

Kirill is  _ definitely _ a bad influence.

 

\---

 

The wedding is absolutely beautiful. 

 

It's small, but still elegant, filled with only close friends and family. Derick wears a white suit and cries during the vows; Valery wears a white ball gown and resolutely does not cry. (“I spent an hour on this make up, Kirill, I'm not going to ruin it before the photos are taken.”) Patricia wears a frilly blue dress and happily scatters orange and red flower petals up the aisle. 

 

Doug stands beside Derick and Kirill stands beside Valery, one more emotional than the other. At one point during the proceedings, Doug looks over to find Kirill already watching him. The man flushes and quickly looks away when he realizes he's been caught, but now Doug can't stop staring. 

 

Deana notices.

 

\---

 

“So you gonna bang him or what?”

 

Doug chokes on his champagne, the fizz burning his sinus cavity as he coughs into a napkin. Leave it to her to be as blunt as humanly possible at a wedding reception.

 

_ “No _ . No I am  _ not.” _ Doug sets his empty glass on a nearby serving platter, not even pretending to not know what she means. “That's Valery's little brother.”

 

“And?” Deana deadpans. Doug sighs.

 

“He's barely 24 years old. I'm more than-”

 

“Oh, don't turn this into some kind of “it wouldn't be morally ethical” kind of thing.” Deana rolls her eyes and chugs another flute if champagne. “No one is asking you to marry him. It's just sex. Besides,” she smirks, nodding her head across the room, “I'm pretty sure he's on the same page.”

 

Doug turns his head, eyes finding Kirill's without even trying. The younger man is sitting at one of the circular tables, bright blue eyes trained on Doug. His cheeks are lightly flushed, whether from the exertion of dancing or the champagne being served, Doug isn't sure. His chin is propped in his hand, bottom lip trapped between his teeth as he watches Doug, eyes lidded. Doug can't help but notice his bowtie hanging undone, shirt ruffled and undone almost halfway, exposing his tight white undershirt underneath the white button down.

 

He looks stunning under the fairy lights strung across the backyard.

 

When he realizes Doug is watching, he releases his bottom lip, the plump pink lip shining with spit, to smile shyly at Doug. The older man swallows, throat suddenly dry. Deana snickers. 

 

“If you don't get him, someone else will.” She says before patting Doug's shoulder and walking away. Kirill stands from the table, eyes still on Doug, and tips back the rest of his drink before maneuvering his way through the small crowd towards the backdoor. He finds Doug in the crowd once more, just before closing the door.

 

\---

 

_ “So, Doug,” Kirill drawls, chin propped on his hand and elbow set on the arm of the red wingback chair, “tell me about yourself.” _

 

_ He's smiling, eyes bright, and Doug huffs a soft laugh, lips curling into a sly smile. _

 

_ “You're telling me you're Valery's younger brother and you've heard nothing about me? I find that hard to believe; Valery and Derick are the biggest gossips I've ever met.” Kirill laughs. _

 

_ “You caught me,” he says, still smiling, “I just wanted to hear you talk.”  _

 

_ “That's a first. People usually tell me to shut up.” Doug jokes. Kirill laughs again. “So what do you want to know?” Kirill hums. _

 

_ “Are you seeing anyone right now?”  _

 

_ “You get straight to the point, huh?” Doug's smile widens, amused. Kirill has the decency to look at least a little bashful as he tips his head. “Mm, but no. I'm not seeing anyone right now.” _

 

_ Kirill licks his lips. “How come?” _

 

_ “It's not easy to balance work and a personal life when you're an on-call Uncle.” He shrugs. “Seeing someone has just never been a high priority for me.” _

 

_ Kirill nods and relaxes against the chair with a small sigh. “I understand that. It's hard to find time to see anyone between work and school.” _

 

_ “How much longer until you graduate?” Doug asks, genuinely curious. Kirill smiles brightly, pride radiating out of every pore. _

 

_ “Just another few months.” He looks away, shyly, “You should come to the graduation.” _

 

_ “Oh?” Doug raises a brow. _

 

_ “Mm. It'd be nice to see you again, after the wedding and all.” _

 

_ \--- _

 

Kirill is nervous.

 

He's never flirted like this before. Not with an older man, who seems so unaffected. Horny younger guys his own age who make sure Kirill knows their interest? Sure. But he's not used to flirting and getting nothing in return. Doug is so mature and composed; it's refreshing. 

 

Doug isn't tripping over his own feet to please him, or fawning over his looks. He's not asking questions just to  _ appear _ interested, he really  _ is _ interested. He's not making conversation with expectations tacked on, he's just making conversation because he wants to  _ talk _ to Kirill.

 

It's got Kirill's heart racing more than it has since he first started college. But now, standing in the dimly lit hallway of Valery's cute little family house, he's nervous. He made it pretty obvious just then; but what if Doug doesn't come? What if Doug is genuinely not interested? 

 

That would be soul crushing on so many levels, none the least because Kirill has actually fallen for the older man. Long before they even met, though. Just by hearing stories from Valery and Derick and Patricia; they all love him. Valery would show him videos from holidays and events together, and Doug's smile was so beautiful. His laugh would make Kirill's heart soar.

 

It was embarrassing, really, to be pining after a man so much older than him when he hadn't even met him. Kirill honestly thought they would meet at Valery's wedding, maybe chat for a bit, and then Kirill would go back to college, alone, and that would be that. He would have some new memories to look back at and fawn over, and maybe he'd be able to see Doug when he visited once in a while. 

 

But, by some turn of fate, Doug was  _ there _ that night. Doug was laughing and playing with Patricia, and spending the day with everyone the day before the wedding. Doug helped him straighten his bowtie before the wedding, and offered him a tissue when Kirill couldn't stop crying after the service.

 

Kirill can't just  _ go back _ after getting to know Doug; after getting to see his sweet but sarcastic nature first hand. He can't let it go without even  _ trying. _

 

The backdoor clicks shut and Kirill freezes. He turns around, nervous, and finds Doug there, back pressed against the glass door. Kirill swallows his nerves and forces a smile, fingers tangling together behind his back.

 

“I didn't think you'd come.” He breathes. Doig smiles, something small and almost shy.

 

“To be honest, neither did I.”

 

“Why did you?” Kirill asks, bottom lip curling over his teeth. Doug is silent for a moment, weighing his words.

 

“For the first time in a long time, I actually wanted to get to know someone who's favorite food isn't grilled cheese.” Doug smiles warmly. Kirill laughs softly, lips curling into a smile, as he steps forward to rest his long fingers on Doug's chest.

 

“I have some unfortunate news, then.”

 

\---

 

Kirill didn't actually think they would get to this point; him, stripped down to his underwear, perched on top of Doug. Doug, flushed beneath him, his hands on Kirill's slim hips, his shirt unbuttoned and baring his perfectly unblemished skin. 

 

It's almost surreal.

 

Their hands wander, slow and exploratory, unhurried. Their kisses are slow, languid; Kirill has never been kissed so thoroughly before. Maybe it's because Doug's older and more experienced?

 

Kirill feels overly warm, heat spreading from his chest outward as his hands slide over Doug's chest, fingers mapping out the definition gained from years of running after criminals. His fingers are dipping below the elastic band of Doug's briefs, slacks having been unbuttoned long ago, trailing through coarse pubic hair-

 

" _ Uncle Dooooug? Uncleeee Doooooug?" _ Patricia's voice calls up the stairs, followed by thumping footsteps. Kirill tumbles off the side of the bed as Doug springs forward. He quickly tugs his white shirt off the rest of the way, tossing it over Kirill, who is scrambling around trying to find something to cover himself with. " _ Where are yooooou?" _

 

Doug adjusts himself in his slacks, runs a hand through his hair and clears his throat before cracking the door open.

 

"Patricia?"

 

"Uncle Doug!" Patricia cries, excited. "You're gonna miss it! Val and Daddy are throwing things!" Doug laughs. Kirill laughs softly into his hand. 

 

"The garter and bouquet?" 

 

"Yessss!" The girls hisses, and Kirill can practically hear her bouncing in place. "You have to hurry let's-" she pauses, "Uncle Doug, where's your shirt..?" Kirill chokes.

 

"Patricia??" Derick calls, rushing up the stairs. "Ah- I'm so sorry." Derick says, and Kirill lifts onto his knees to peer over the edge of the bed. He can only see Doug's back from this angle, but he can hear the flustered tone in Derick's voice. "When I sent her to find you, I didn't realize  _ someone else _ was missing as well." He laughs awkwardly. Doug huffs a laugh as well, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Is he turning red??

 

"It's fine, we were uh…"

 

"No need to explain!" Derick rushes, voice sounding further away. He's probably herding Patricia back down the stairs and outside. "I'm happy for you, Doug. And you too, Kirill!" He calls a little louder, and Kirill buries his face in the comforter. God, Derick is the  _ worst. _

 

Kirill hears the door click shut softly, and feels the bed dip under Doug's weight.

 

"Well… that was something." He murmurs, and Kirill can't fight it anymore. He's laughing, shoulders shaking and head thrown back; it's so embarrassing to be caught by a five year old, but really, what did he expect??

 

When his laughter begins to die down, he finds Doug smiling at him from his place against the pillows. Kirill smiles brightly, climbing into the bed to rest his chin on Doug's chest.

 

"I guess that didn't quite work out." He jokes. Doug scoffs.

 

"You think?" 

 

Kirill starts giggling again. Doug runs his hands through Kirill's hair for a moment, simply enjoying the quiet time together.

 

"Maybe we should continue this later, at my apartment?" He offers. Kirill's smile widens and he presses a kiss to Doug's pectoral.

 

"Sounds like a good idea."


End file.
